More Than Anyone Else
by Illusionary Heart
Summary: I'm sorry that I still like you more than anyone else. One-sided ElsAi.


I know I'm stubborn. I know I'm sort of a crybaby. I know I'm really, _really _boring. Let's get off me; let's go onto you. You're rude, you're arrogant, and you're so _annoying_.

But I still like you the best.

* * *

I knew from the first day I saw you that I liked you. Just a glance would send a flurry of emotions up my stomach. I had never seriously been in love before that, so this was all completely new to me. But I knew that I was never your type. I was just the girl studying really hard in the corner. I was just the girl who would get really hostile when you tried to interrupt her during that. I was just the girl who could change moods really fast and be helpful the next.

You can't imagine how much it surprised me when I started falling for you more and more. It evolved beyond a simple crush that most girls harbored for you, nor was it possessive like what Chloe had. An explanation on what I felt for you? Out of the question! I can't explain it myself, even now.

Except that I really, really like you.

And I know, I'm really sorry I'm such a stubborn, cowardly crybaby. I can't believe how much you've had to put up with during those short, three months. Perhaps it was long for you, but it was short for me. Too short. But I'm really sorry. You must've been going out of your mind trying to comfort me.

We fought once, and it was all my fault for being such a stupid – arg – I don't even know anymore! All I know is that we fought over something, and I made you feel like a complete jerk for that week. And I'm sorry. I know I'm just repeating things here, but I'm really sorry.

I really am. I might've yelled at you, I might've said that I don't love you, but that's all false. During my crush's evolution, you were the only thing on my mind and that didn't change after. You're still on my mind, but this time it hurts. I keep trying to say that I'm sorry, but by now there must be so many that it just doesn't sound genuine anymore, does it?

But I completely ignored your feelings, I pulled you that way, I pulled you this way and you went along with it. I was too stubborn, and I didn't think to wonder whether you'd like it or not. I never considered what you wanted to do. It pains me to think that I was so ignorant, so naïve and vain. I wasn't everything. I there was school, friends, family. I wasn't everything to you.

Was it wrong if I say that I wish I would've been?

I wanted to be your everything. I wanted you to cast aside what you had. I wanted you to think of me as I thought of you. But even back then, I knew such a thing was selfish. The brunt of it never hit me until now, and it saddens me. I'm such a big fat _burden_. Even I understand that now. So I'm sorry.

God, I sound like such a stupid fool. But after all I put you through, I suppose that's what I am. I _am _the most idiotic person on the whole planet, the most moronic being that's ever walked the Earth. The most stupid, inconsiderate person ever. That's me, Aisha.

I still like you above everyone else. I expected you to do what I did, but even to me that sounds absurd. That sounds like Chloe, like that possessive love she had for you. So I'm sorry.

* * *

Who's the one who's crying? You're not, and I'm not. But as you stand in front of me, a single, crystalline tear slides down your cheek, and I can't say anything. Even as you said, "I don't love you anymore, I'm sorry," the tear still went down. I'm not crying, and yet you are.

I'm frozen. I can't say anything. But as you turns around and move away, my hand unconsciously reaches out towards you but my feet don't follow. I land on my knees, staring at your retreating form. What did I do? Why do you say such things? I want to scream, I want to yell, but my voice is stuck.

But as I watch you join hands with the silver-haired girl, my blurry vision becomes clear.

* * *

Yes, I always knew you didn't love me.

I always knew you'd never like me like that.

From the start, your eyes were on higher girls. There was no chance that you'd like me like you'd like them. I was always the girl in the background. I want to ask, "_Why don't you want to start it over again?_" but I already know the answer. You just don't like me.

But I still like you more than anyone else.

This is all my fault. It's not yours, it's not that silver-haired girl's, it's mine. I forced you into this. It's all my fault.

When we walked home together, you were always one step ahead of me. You never reached out your hand, it was always me. I grabbed it first. You – you gave me a chance, a chance to make you love me. But I blew it. Because if I hadn't, why didn't you ask to start over again?

I'm sorry that I'm such a stubborn, arrogant, stupid, moronic crybaby. I'm sorry that I'm such a big burden through your life. I'm so, so sorry. I'm such a selfish brat. Even though I'm all this, and I know that you just don't love me…

Please forgive me. I'm sorry that I love you more than anyone else.


End file.
